Malala’s journey brings her to Skidmore
Malala Yousafzai is an internationally known education activist, the youngest-ever
Nobel laureate, a bestselling author, and an award-winning filmmaker. But when she
tells her story in a way that is authentic to her, she does so with a vulnerability
and sense of humor that make her instantly relatable.
In conversation with award-winning ABC News correspondent and “20/20” co-anchor Deborah
Roberts, Yousafzai addressed a captive, sold-out audience of Skidmore students, staff,
and faculty and local community members Oct. 25 in the College’s Arthur Zankel Music
Center. Promoting her new memoir, “Finding My Way,” she recounted the struggles of
awakening to a new life after she was nearly killed by a Taliban gunman for advocating
for girls’ education, thrusting her into the global spotlight.
“When your story is out there in the world, you want people to know the true version
of you,” she said. “I was in a coma when people heard about my life, and at that time,
as a 15-year-old girl, I did not know who I was or who I was going to become. So,
this is me reintroducing myself and sharing more about my journey — navigating friendships,
love, mental health, and many other things.”
Born in 1997 and raised in Mingora, Pakistan, she describes her child self as a rambunctious
troublemaker, just trying to be a kid as the Taliban took hold in her region.
After waking up in a Birmingham, UK, trauma center, she underwent a number of surgeries
and had to relearn how to walk and talk. She then began a new “unfamiliar, unbidden
life,” yearning to discover who she was meant to become amid a sea of voices telling
her who she was.
Roberts addressed these key themes of Yousafzai’s memoir as she asked the 28-year-old
about trying to fit in at a new high school, formative experiences at Oxford University,
marriage, and more.
A Nobel laureate in jeans
Yousafzai’s high school experiences ranged from struggling to make friends and understand
cultural references to learning she had won the Nobel Peace Prize during chemistry
class. “I got the news and I completed my school day,” she said calmly to a stunned
Roberts. “I was truly honored and really happy about it, but at the same time, I knew
that I would be an advocate for girls for the rest of my life to prove myself deserving.
I started the Malala Fund and we have been doing this work in six countries around
the world, including Pakistan, Nigeria, and Afghanistan, and our goal is to ensure
that every girl can access a complete education.”
Yousafzai talked about the controversy she stirred by wearing jeans rather than the traditional outfits her mom had packed for her, and about how tricky it was to have a security detail when all she wanted was to blend in. She recounted the excitement of signing up for every club and activity she could — from the Pakistan, Hindu, and Christian societies to cricket, badminton, and rowing — in hopes of making new connections. And she recalled the risks she took — like taking part in a dangerous climb up an Oxford University bell tower with peers — to “taste freedom in a way that I couldn’t have described to anybody.”
“They say you have to choose two of the three — from social life, studying, and sleep — and I thought I could only maintain one, and that was social life,” Yousafzai said. “I wanted a social life more than anything because I wanted to make friends. I wanted to connect with people. I wanted to know more about myself.”
However, she found that prioritizing her social life while fulfilling her rigorous duties as an international icon left little time for her own education.
“I remember in my first year in college, I went to three countries in a week or so, which really concerned my college tutor. She was constantly worried about me, and she was right, because I nearly failed my first-year exams. I did not perform well. So that’s when she told me that I have to take it seriously,” Yousafzai recalled.
“I was always thinking about the difference we can make for girls’ education and how I can keep supporting my family, so I would always tell myself, ‘No, you can do it. You can manage travel and socializing and studying.’ But in the end, I realized it was actually not possible.”
On mental health
Growing up in Pakistan, Yousafzai says, there was a stigma attached to mental health.
“When I was receiving my surgeries in the UK, I was also offered therapy. I loved
all my doctors and nurses, but I did not like the therapist because she was asking
me a question like, ‘How are you feeling today?’ And I rolled my eyes. Like, how can
a question like that help me through the pain? And how can it help me recover? We
just were not aware of mental health and therapy.”
Yousafzai thought that being brave and courageous meant never asking for help and
never feeling weak or scared. “That’s how I carried on for almost seven years,” she
said.
Then, what she refers to as “the bong incident” at Oxford upended her perspective.
“I could see the gunman and the attack happening again and again, and it was terrifying.
It went on for hours. After that, I did not feel like the same person anymore. I constantly
had fear, my heart would be beating fast. I could not sleep anymore, and it was affecting
my social life as well. Even my friends started noticing it.”
A friend suggested that she see a therapist. “I didn’t know that the therapist would
be helpful at all, because I thought nobody would understand me,” Yousafzai said.
“In the first therapy session, I told the therapist everything, and then I said, ‘Okay,
give me the medication. Let’s fix it.’ And she reminded me that it’s actually a process:
‘We will talk through it and hopefully the PTSD, the anxiety, will get smaller and
smaller with time. We cannot make it vanish in one session.’ So that changed everything
for me.”
On marriage
Yousafzai also discussed how she grappled with the idea of marriage as a feminist
role model.
“Growing up, I had seen girls married off, and they lost their education. They lost
their dreams. So I thought that I, as a girl who wants to have a future, need to keep
myself away from marriage for as long as I can, because marriage means more compromises
for women.”
But falling in love with her now-husband Asser Malik complicated her perceptions of
marriage.
“So I was doing all of my research. I was reading amazing authors. I was hoping bell
hooks and Virginia Woolf could give me guidance, but nobody was giving me a straight
no or yes,” she said, getting laughs from the audience. “But in the end, for me, it
was the time that I spent with Asser. We want our lives to be better and happier,
and if it can bring something more to your life, that’s beautiful.”
On finding your way
To all the students in the audience especially, Yousafzai emphasized that it’s okay to not know all the answers.
It is really important that you learn here, not just from your books but from the people around you, from the experiences you are having. These memories will stay with you forever. As a person in college, everything that happened there — from the friendships to the mental health experience, to the learning — all of that have changed me as a person, and I’m so grateful for all of that.”Malala Yousafzai
She also reassured that it’s okay to make mistakes. “But you have to be true to yourself,”
she added.
“I have found my way through experiences and new adventures. I have allowed myself
to go through all the emotions. I’ve learned that bravery and courage mean you still
do what you believe in, even when you have anxiety and fear. So, I’m redefining the
way I do my activism. I am dedicated to the work of girls’ education more than ever.
This is my life’s mission.”
The event was co-presented by Skidmore College and Northshire Bookstore, an independent
bookseller with a location on Broadway in Saratoga Springs. Roberts was also there
promoting her new book, "Sisters Loved and Treasured."