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Skidmore College
Office of Student Diversity & Inclusion

What Are Some Coming Out Issues and Concerns? 

The prospect of coming out, of revealing one’s sexual orientation or gender identity, can be a daunting one in any given situation. There is always a risk that the person one chooses to tell may react negatively. The following information may help people who are not LGBTQ understand some of the concerns that people who are LGBTQ have.

What Might People who are LGBTQ be Afraid of When They Come Out?

Rejection — loss of relationships with friends or family
Gossip
Harassment or abuse
Being thrown out of the family
Being thrown out of the house
Discrimination
Being seen as sick, immoral, or perverted
Loss of financial support
Not being accepted in their religious community
Losing their job
Having their professional credibility questioned or undermined
Physical violence

How Might People who are LGBTQ Feel About Coming Out to Someone?

Scared
Vulnerable
Unsure — wondering how the person will react
Relieved
Proud

What Might People Who are LGBTQ Want from the People to Whom They Come Out?

Acceptance
Support
Understanding
Comfort
Reassurance that their relationship won’t be negatively affected
Closer relationship
Acknowledgement of their feelings
Love

Adapted from “Coming Out,” developed by Vernon Wall and Jamie Washington, 1989